Thursday, May 21, 2009

New look...new attitude...new beginning

No, I'm not returning after the LONGEST migraine in history...In July of 2008 I posted a blog that said I was taking a few days off to try some new medicine to get over recurring migraines. Here I am 10 months later, just now returning. My migraines actually got better pretty soon after that post, but my life got crazier. I didn't even think that was possible at the time!

Here's what happened...In 2007, we moved from GA to AL for Tim to begin a new pastorate. Our nation was a different place then; at least economically. We had a home we LOVED in GA, a lake home we LOVED in AL, and thinking that we could surely sell the home in GA, we bought another home we LOVE on the new church field. Originally we had planned to live in the lake house until our GA house sold, so we moved our clothing and essentials from GA to the lake house. But the 45 minute commute (sometimes twice a day) quickly became too much for Tim. So we found a 1940s bungalow, gutted it, and renovated it exactly like we wanted. We loved the way it looked when we finished. So we emptied the GA house and spread the furniture between the lake house and the renovated house. And we moved all our clothing, essentials, and stuff for daily living from the lake house to the new house.

But shortly after that, the economy plunged and we got stuck with three houses. Not only did we have to PAY for all three of them, we had to take care of them. And by July 0f 2008, about the time I stopped writing my blogs, we were at a point where we knew that something had to go. We had to keep the house we were living in full-time because that was our "home"; where we worked, lived, and ministered. The house in GA just would NOT sell. So our only viable option was to sell the one house we didn't want to sell; the lake house.

We had experienced such wonderful times in that house with our family. We loved being on and near the water; teaching our grandkids to ski, enjoying our daughter and son bring their families and friends to have fun with us there, extended family reunions there, and just the peaceful times of sitting on that awesome porch with the incredible view; relaxing with God and each other. And what incredible times of Bible study we both had in that setting!

But when we put the lake house on the market it sold in less than a month, so we knew that God was in that plan. We had to take a huge loss on it, but at least we were out of the payment and the maintenance issues. But that meant that we had to then move all the furniture from the lake house BACK into the GA house. So for the third time in less than a year, we moved.

Add to all that another million or so church/ministry/financial/family issues that were going on at the time, and that was about when I had a near "come-apart" and took a break to recuperate.

So why am I back today? Nothing has changed about our circumstances really. Most of the "issues" still exist; the GA house still hasn't sold; I still miss having a waterside "get-away" house; the economy is even worse now....I have to admit that the last few years have been the most confusing and frustrating years in all of our years in ministry and I still don't know what God has been and is still doing....But for reasons I can't really explain, I feel like the fog is lifting and I am somehow experiencing peace now in the midst of all of it.

I have had a hard time seeing past the present and having hope for the future, but God is beginning to restore the hope to me. I truly feel that He is about to do something though I have absolutely NO tangible evidence on which to base that feeling. But if I did, it wouldn't be "hope" or "faith"....It would be "sight" and that's not how we are supposed to live.

For quite some time now, I have yearned to hear from God like I did years ago, but for the last couple of years I have only heard silence on many days. I've heard enough to continue to teach and write, but it just hasn't been the intensely personal and revolutionary revelations of the years before. And He has not yet told me why I had to and why I'm continuing to pass through that time.... But I am beginning to hear Him clearly again and I told Tim yesterday that I feel a new excitement about what God is about to show me.

So here I am again, if anyone is even interested. The blog has a new look (which I will explain in a later post), to symbolize my new attitude at this new beginning. I don't know if I will post to the blog daily, weekly, or just whenever the "Spirit" moves, but for whatever it means....I'm back.

with Debbie Childers