Today my grandaughter Mattie turned 12 years old. It seems like just yesterday that she was a little girl. I remembered something that happened when she was about three years old. She had heard her Papa preach and she was standing on the hearth pretending to preach like him. I heard her make several comments about Jesus, so I asked, “Mattie, who is Jesus?”
I could see her pondering that thought for a moment and then finally she answered, “I don’t know, but my Papa helps him.”
Isn’t that just like us? We think that we can help Jesus; as if He couldn’t do it without our help – as if we could do anything at all without Him? That is the area of my spiritual life where God has to work on me the most. I tend to be more concerned with what I’m doing to “help” Him that what He wants to do in me. I want to “change the world” more than I want Him to change me.
And so often I forget that I can’t do anything without Him. How would I even know what He is calling me to do if I haven’t spent time with Him – just allowing Him to speak to me and “grow” me into a person that is ready to serve Him. How could I ever expect Him to use me if I haven’t allowed Him to fill me?
Time spent “doing” – even doing good things for Him – is a sinful waste if the “doing” has become a priority over my fellowship with Him. I hope that as Mattie continues to grow up, she will learn from her Granna's mistakes. I hope that the greatest priority of her life will be to enjoy an intimate, exciting, and abundant relationship with Jesus Christ.
I could see her pondering that thought for a moment and then finally she answered, “I don’t know, but my Papa helps him.”
Isn’t that just like us? We think that we can help Jesus; as if He couldn’t do it without our help – as if we could do anything at all without Him? That is the area of my spiritual life where God has to work on me the most. I tend to be more concerned with what I’m doing to “help” Him that what He wants to do in me. I want to “change the world” more than I want Him to change me.
And so often I forget that I can’t do anything without Him. How would I even know what He is calling me to do if I haven’t spent time with Him – just allowing Him to speak to me and “grow” me into a person that is ready to serve Him. How could I ever expect Him to use me if I haven’t allowed Him to fill me?
Time spent “doing” – even doing good things for Him – is a sinful waste if the “doing” has become a priority over my fellowship with Him. I hope that as Mattie continues to grow up, she will learn from her Granna's mistakes. I hope that the greatest priority of her life will be to enjoy an intimate, exciting, and abundant relationship with Jesus Christ.
After that incredible life lesson God taught me so many years ago, I wrote this poem to express my struggles.
The Captivity of Activity
At times I feel I can really help you God, I just know I have it in me,
To be someone that You can use, and have a ministry others would envy,
Then you expose my wretched pride, my arrogance is revealed,
I’m convicted by my thoughts of self-sufficiency, my vanity’s no longer concealed.
I get so distracted by the busyness of serving, I forget what You are pursuing,
You’re much more interested in what I am becoming than You are in what I am doing.
I wrongly think that You are impressed by the talents of which I can boast,
When in reality it’s my relationship with You that to matters to You most.
Why am I so tempted to return to a life that’s marked by my activity,
When I know from my own experience that it’s just another form of captivity?
I’ll never know the fullness of Your presence if I never stop for rest,
The things I do in the flesh may be good, but what You want for me is Your best.
I get so tired of trying hard and sometimes I tell you, “I quit”,
And I hear You respond with relief from Heaven, “Finally! - I just want you to sit”.
You tell me instead of trying harder, you’d rather me trust You more,
Because apart from You I can do nothing, that’s what Your power is for!
Over and over I ask the same questions, “Where should I go?”, “What should I be?”,
And You say “Stay close, I am the way, you just need to follow me.”
Why do I always wonder where You want me, when You’ve told me it’s at Your feet?
You wait for me patiently time after time, You show up and save me a seat.
How could I neglect a time so precious, a conversation with God most high,
How can I get involved with things less important and let a priceless treasure pass me by?
Oh God, let me focus on You only, please distract me from my distractions,
And let my life be marked by Your holiness and not by my feeble actions.
The Captivity of Activity
At times I feel I can really help you God, I just know I have it in me,
To be someone that You can use, and have a ministry others would envy,
Then you expose my wretched pride, my arrogance is revealed,
I’m convicted by my thoughts of self-sufficiency, my vanity’s no longer concealed.
I get so distracted by the busyness of serving, I forget what You are pursuing,
You’re much more interested in what I am becoming than You are in what I am doing.
I wrongly think that You are impressed by the talents of which I can boast,
When in reality it’s my relationship with You that to matters to You most.
Why am I so tempted to return to a life that’s marked by my activity,
When I know from my own experience that it’s just another form of captivity?
I’ll never know the fullness of Your presence if I never stop for rest,
The things I do in the flesh may be good, but what You want for me is Your best.
I get so tired of trying hard and sometimes I tell you, “I quit”,
And I hear You respond with relief from Heaven, “Finally! - I just want you to sit”.
You tell me instead of trying harder, you’d rather me trust You more,
Because apart from You I can do nothing, that’s what Your power is for!
Over and over I ask the same questions, “Where should I go?”, “What should I be?”,
And You say “Stay close, I am the way, you just need to follow me.”
Why do I always wonder where You want me, when You’ve told me it’s at Your feet?
You wait for me patiently time after time, You show up and save me a seat.
How could I neglect a time so precious, a conversation with God most high,
How can I get involved with things less important and let a priceless treasure pass me by?
Oh God, let me focus on You only, please distract me from my distractions,
And let my life be marked by Your holiness and not by my feeble actions.
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